I think I may have talked enough about the negative aspects of my PND journey... I was driving home from work tonight and I was trying to think about a time when I had noticed that things were getting better.
It may have been when I met someone who I could talk to and be honest about things with , that lived near by. She understood and would let me talk and I had no fear of telling her about the days when all I wanted to do was pick up my daughter and throw her half way across the room. I guess that until now and starting this blog, there were only a few people that I could be completely honest with. This person is also, along with Kate, one of my best friends. We were lucky that we could sit and talk about things throughout the day, have a plan in mind whether it be taking the kids to a book shop, coffee shop or shopping in general. It was someone to just "be" with. someone to help with the loneliness that many people feel. Again, she is an amazing woman, mother and friend, and is simply amazing more than she will ever know and I am so proud of her achievements. She knows who she is ; )
The other support that I had and still do to this day , is with a cousin and uncle who I cant thank enough. They would let me come over and just stay until it was time for my husband to come home from work. I had company and someone to talk to, I had something to look forward to the following day as I knew on the days that my friends were busy, that I didn't have to be on my own. This really helped to to break up the weekend because up until I met my friends or went to my cousins, the weeks were long and I only had the weekends to feel less anxious and as close to normal as possible. They didn't force me to talk about things, no questions were asked, and no expectations were set. They are just there and I know I can go when I need support.
The turn could have also happened when I had decided to go back to work when my daughter was 6months. I was working in the evenings, 5-9pm and I think that when I had a bit of time to be "normal" again, as I would class it, that things took a turn for the better. i met new people, stated a new job, and had other interests again. it was great. i also started talking to people about my PND and wasn't going to ignore the fact that I was experiencing this. I started to see how it was shaping me as a person. I could see that I was actually a lot stronger than I thought....I was also able to recognize this through counselling. Don't get me wrong, this change did not happen over night, Not at all but it was the start of something good.
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