Anti depressants

I was wondering  how I was going to approach this one.  As I have said before, I am not medically trained and this is opinion based only. This bit of information is regarding my life and no one else's.

I was asked by my doctor when I went to see him, to try relaxation techniques which meant repeating a work over and over again for approximately 15 minutes every morning and 15 minutes later that day.  I do believe in relaxation techniques , yoga ect but unfortunately my mind at that time was racing far too much. It was probably when I was prescribed anti depressants because I was visiting the surgery so much that he really didn't know what to do with me.

I started taking them and I do believe that they also had the placebo effect as well as working to get me on an even keel.  However, my opinion is very different now and I think that has more to do with how I found my way through trial and error or different things , as well as counselling and studying counselling.

As I said, I believe in them to the extent that they stopped my mind racing so much but on the other hand, I believe them to be a sticky plaster which doesn't really deal with the problem at hand. I know that a lot of people will not agree with me but this is how I responded to them and the beliefs that I hold.  I think once I was doing things like writing a journal, starting back exercise, making sure that I was getting out the house,that I really didn't need them anymore. I was also receiving counselling and was able to talk through and hear my thoughts out loud.

The thing about counselling is that there is someone there to listen, who takes a non judgmental approach, that is there completely for you and who wont self disclose and make the conversation about them and their experiences or give their opinions.  You have an hour to say what you feel, to cry, to laugh, to just be. Its YOUR hour with no interruptions. It takes time adn you really uncover a lot about yourself. It is also very empowering at times.

I learned that I had a life time of consistent putting myself down and expecting far too much of myself and when I didn't achieve , I would beat myself up about it. I am still very much like that but I am aware now of WHY. It makes things easier to know the why because it is then that you can start to heal and change.

So yes, I have been off of anti depressants for a long time now, and I don't regret taking them but I had to personally confront not just the PND, but I got to a point where I was realizing how strong I had actually been to go through it and to come out the other end.  It was a slow process but it was things that I did in order to get me to where I am just now. It was tiny steps one day at a time.  Exercise is probably one of the best things that helped me, the endorphins lifted my black moods and it made me get out for some time on my own. I now want to get to a point where I can do these relaxation techniques, I need to get rid of the anxiety that I still have as a result of the PND and this is what I am working towards.