I was exchanging a few emails with a friend of mine about how I view my parenting and how my daughter views this too , and what I concluded was that my daughter seems to prefer my husband more than she does me.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that its all down to PND(although my guilty side would say so), I think that its because I'm bad cop and he is good cop. This causes a few issues in our household as I'm sure it does in most UK and world wide homes. Do some Dad's who are working full time, feel that they have to make up for not being there as much as Mum's ? I realize that there are role reversals and that its not always the Mum who is stay at home, I'm not excluding carers ect or single parent families as each family situation is different, I'm just talking about my own experience.
In my household, my daughter knows that when she asks me something to which the answer is no, that she may have a chance at bargaining with him especially when the "you are the best daddy in the world, and I love you to the moon and back", is used as her tool of choice followed by the hugs. My husband thinks that I am too hard on her and should be a bit more lenient but I say "NO" to jammy dodgers in the morning and chocolate as it just isn't nutritious! However, when I see them both together and the admiration in her eyes, I cant help but feel a pang of jealousy! How dare she not look at me with those eyes and the "you are my world" face, like she does to Daddy? for I am "Supermum" who comes to her rescue and is the defender of all things healthy! Har har!
I suppose he isn't all that bad(I secretly love and adore him but don't let him in on that) ... he loves her which as I have said before is the best thing that you could give to a child, but I wish he would bugger off and let me have some cuddles now and again! LOL!
Angeline, I think you're just going to have to get used to that...32 years on and if my Mum needs something doing (or to get dad to stop doing something more to the point) she calls me to "get your Father to do it" because a request/nagging from me works far better than one from my Mum (or as my Dad and I call her: The Fun police)!
ReplyDeleteYou know us all, I'm sure you can picture it!
My husband calls me the 'fun police' only when I stop them doing stuff that puts them in danger!! Still I think I'm lucky at the moment ad I truly don't feel ad if my three kids favour one parent over the other, maybe this will change or maybe I don't want to notice that in my kids :)
ReplyDeleteI think this happens in every household. MY little boy is 28 months and has two mummies but still sees one of us for fun and horseplay and me for dull boring discipline.
ReplyDeleteIt has nothing to do with gender roles or PND but everything to do with little people developing their place in the world.
That said, it doesn't make it any easier when the wee one always wants Mummy A (not me!)