New blog address

Hi all

Just to let you all know that I have moved to www.daftmamma.co.uk

I hope to see you all there.

Updates!

Just an update to say that I have scheduled a meet up for Tuesday October 11th at 11am, Beanscene Woodlands Road in Glasgow. I will probably continue to have the meet ups there unless anyone suggests elsewhere. I am open to traveling and also meeting on a one to one basis if anyone out there doesn't want to meet in a group. Any meeting in a one to one basis will be done in a coffee shop or somewhere else public, for obvious safety reasons.

Also, I am pleased by the article that was printed in the Cambuslang and Rutherglen Reformer today which was about highlighting the issues of PND and how I am using the blog to do this. I hope to do more work on a support service of some sort, this is in early stages just now but there are many ideas circulating!

Also, with the help of a friend and her company "POLR", I will have my own .co.uk up and running very soon! I am looking for people who would like to tell their stories and include favorite blogs and will also start blogging about other interests of mine but it will be primarily focusing in PND. I will also be running a few competitions now and again , for books and other goodies.

In the next few weeks I will also be graduating, have an essay due and be finishing off a course that I have been doing with the amazing "Open University" and have a guest blog being put on to "Britmums" so I may not get a chance to write as much.

I think this is all that I have on.... Thanks again to all of you who continue to read, comment and email me. Your support is amazing:)

How I view my parenting

I was exchanging a few emails with a friend of mine about how I view my parenting and how my daughter views this too , and what I concluded was that my daughter seems to prefer my husband more than she does me.

Now, don't get me wrong,  I don't think that its all down to PND(although my guilty side would say so), I think that its because I'm bad cop and he is good cop. This causes a few issues in our household as I'm sure it does in most UK and world wide homes.  Do some Dad's who are working full time, feel that they have to make up for not being there as much as Mum's ? I realize that there are role reversals and that its not always the Mum who is stay at home, I'm not excluding carers ect or single parent families  as each family situation is different, I'm just talking about my own experience.

In my household, my daughter knows that when she asks me something to which the answer is no, that she may have a chance at bargaining with him especially when the "you are the best daddy in the world, and I love you to the moon and back", is used as her tool of choice followed by the hugs.  My husband thinks that I am too hard on her and should be a bit more lenient but I say "NO" to jammy dodgers in the morning and chocolate as it just isn't nutritious!  However, when I see them both together and the admiration in her eyes, I cant help but feel a pang of jealousy! How dare she not look at me with those eyes and the "you are my world" face, like she does to Daddy? for I am "Supermum" who comes to her rescue and is the defender of all things healthy! Har har!

I suppose he isn't all that bad(I secretly love and adore him but don't let him in on that) ... he loves her which as I have said before is the best thing that you could give to a child, but I wish he would bugger off and let me have some cuddles now and again! LOL!

A letter to those who were supposed to care

I am writing this letter to you, the hospital who were supposed to care but let me down when I needed help most. You made me feel dirty when I bloodied the sheets an hour after giving birth and did not show me where to get the physical things that I required such as nappies,pads,and towels.

You woke me when myself and my baby were sleeping and assigned me a nurse who tried to get my baby to latch on using her tobacco stained hands, it's no wonder we had trouble that night. You also made me feel inadequate when my baby wouldn't feed because you always told me time and time again that "it was the most natural thing in the world". You made me feel like I was harming my baby with your "tut's" and disapproving looks when I caved in and gave my daughter the formula milk. You wouldn't give me the time of day.


You should be ashamed of the way that you treat people , you have no understanding at all about the word "care" and what is involved because for the time that I was in your hospital , care was very rarely given. You made me feel like I was a hassle when I asked something of you , or required information that I needed since I was a first time mother and didn't know any better. I didn't have my own mother there to help or advise. I had you and your staff. What did you do for me? absolutely nothing apart from letting me go home with uncertainty and doubt. Thank you for that.

I will not let other mothers go through what I did because of your inadequate "care", I will fight as hard as I possibly can to see that things change in your hospital as well as for others around the country. You will change the way that you and your staff treat new parents because my fight will go on. You will no longer look at anyone with judgement, or laugh when we get it wrong. You will be a source of knowledge and guidance.

Yours sincerely

A normal mum.

Wise Words

A very wise woman said to me this week that " a woman has to deal with many different issues in life, when a woman is having her period, she is going through PMS, and is nuts, when having a baby we have a hormonal imbalance, when going through the menopause she is crazy" Why cant we just be women ? Why do we have to have an explanation for how we feel?

She really made me think about how women are viewed in society and how this also contributes towards the stigma of PND and how its another thing that we have to explain in life. Another expectation...Another thing to feel guilty for, I suppose.

I have a lot of very strong women around me who inspire me . They make me think and make me question what we as women have to face on a a daily basis and also make me proud to be a woman. Its more than friendships , but a "sisterhood" which can be relied upon and I appreciate this. I am constantly reminded about the sheer determination that women have and the things that we overcome on a daily basis. We are wonderful and should celebrate this more often!

Whoosh

I have had a manic week.. it has had its highs and lows but mainly positively high and I have had to sit down to reflect on just how busy that it has been.  I have met some wonderful people and have also connected via twitter and the blog, to many more equally amazing and talented women who have taught me quite a lot this week.

I have gone from one meeting to the next, trying to fit in everything as my eyes have been opened up to the possibilities of where the blog can go and who it may be able to help. This is what I want to do and this is where I am taking it, full steam ahead! My world is going fast and if I had to describe it, it would be in one word"Whoosh"!  Its times like this though when I have to sit down in silence, with my thoughts and take stock. I have to set boundaries, those for myself and for other people otherwise I could head easily in to burn out. Self awareness has been a wonderful thing to have and has kept me near enough sane for the last wee while, long may it continue!

So this week, I must concentrate on me and some self care. I have to get my final essay completed and sent away, and I have to also take some time to walk, exercise and be kind to myself. I must also put more effort in to friendships as I am aware that some of them have suffered in the past few weeks due to appointments.  So this following week will be purely about me, friendships and family.

Although this post wasn't really about much, its helped me get some thoughts out and my mind clear! That can't be too bad, can it?